Boy Brain? Girl Brain?

Take this test to find out. ;-) My results: The result came back on a graph with a 0 in the middle and 100s on each end. To the right was the word Men, while on the left was the word Women. I scored a 25 on the Women side; so I guess I have a woman's brain in this body o'mine. Here are the actual results of the test I took: Part 1 Angles This task tested your ability to identify the angle of a line by matching it with its twin. This is a spatial task, which looks at how you picture space. Your score: 19 out of 20 Average score for men: 15.1 out of 20Average score for women: 13.3 out of 20 If you scored 0 - 12: You have more of a female brain. Scientists believe that people with a female brain find it more difficult to judge the slope of a line because they're not wired for spatial tasks. In past studies, 65 per cent of people who scored in this range were women. If you scored 13 - 17: You found this test neither hard nor easy. This suggests your brain has male and female traits when it comes to spatial ability. If you scored 18 - 20: You have more of a male brain. On average, men outperform women in this task and those with more mathematical knowledge tend to score quite high as well. In past studies, 60 per cent of the people in this range were men. Interestingly, men's testosterone levels fluctuate through the seasons and studies have shown that men's scores are lower in the spring, when their testosterone levels are at their lowest. Spot the difference This task tested your ability to identify which objects changed position. You lost points, if you incorrectly identified objects. Your score: 86% Average score for men: 39% Average score for women: 46% If you scored between 0 - 33%: You may have more of a male brain. Scientists say men tend to under perform in this task. The corpus callosum, the part of the brain that links the right and left hemispheres, is a fifth larger in women. This means women can process visual and other signals at the same time more easily than men. There is also a theory that oestrogen levels in women give them an added advantage in spatial memory. If you scored between 34 - 66%: You may have a balanced female-male brain. If you scored between 67 - 100%: Those with a female-type brain generally score in this range. Your ability to remember where objects are may serve as an advantage to you when you're trying to find your way around places. You're more capable of recalling landmarks to get from one place to another. ================================================================= Part 2 Hands You said your left thumb was on top when you clasped your hands together. Right thumb on top: This suggests the left half of your brain is dominant. Many studies have tried to establish whether there is a relationship between handedness and brain dominance. Some scientists believe that if you are left brain dominant, you would be more verbal and analytical. Left thumb on top: This suggests the right half of your brain is dominant. Some studies theorise that as a right brain dominant person, you may excel in visual, spatial and intuitive processes. However, these theories are debatable and leave much to be said about the small percentage of people who are ambidextrous. ================================================================= Part 3 Emotions and Systems This task looked at whether you prefer to empathise or systemise. Empathising Your empathy score is: 7 out of 20 Average score for men: 7.9 out of 20Average score for women: 10.6 out of 20 Empathisers are better at accurately judging other people's emotions and responding appropriately. If you scored 15 and above, you are very empathic and would be an ideal person to comfort people in a time of crisis. Women in general are better at empathising. Systemising Your systemising score is: 12 out of 20 Average score for men: 12.5 out of 20Average score for women: 8.0 out of 20 Systemisers prefer to investigate how systems work. A system can be a road map, flat pack furniture, or a mathematical equation – anything that follows a set of rules. A score of 15 and above suggests you're good at analysing or building systems. Men in general are better at systemising. Scientists are keen to learn more about people who score high or low on both tests. They want to find out whether or not empathising and systemising are linked. Some scientists claim that our empathy and systemising abilities can be traced all the way back to prehistoric times. Eyes This task tested your ability to judge people's emotions. Your score: 8 out of 10 Average score for men: 6.6 out of 10 Average score for women: 6.6 out of 10 If you scored 0 - 3: Do you think you're good at judging how another person is feeling? Your score suggests this doesn't come to you quite so naturally. If you scored 4 - 6: Your result suggests you have a balanced female-male brain and find it neither easy nor difficult to judge people's emotions. If you scored 7 - 10: Your result suggests you are a good empathiser, sensitive to other people's emotions. Women generally fall into this category. Professor Baron-Cohen at the University of Cambridge says that people usually perform better than they expect to on this test. Men often think a person's eyes are sending signals of desire when that's not the case at all. ================================================================= Part 4 Fingers We asked you to measure your ring and index fingers. Your ratios came to: Right Hand: 1.02 Left Hand: 0.97 Average ratio for men: 0.982 Average ratio for women: 0.991 It's thought that your ratio is governed by the amount of testosterone you were exposed to in your mother's womb. The ratio of the length of your index finger to the length of your ring finger is set for life by as early as three months after conception. Even during puberty, when we experience intensive hormonal changes, the ratio stays the same. Men generally have a ring finger that is longer than their index finger, which gives them a lower ratio than women, whose ring and index fingers are usually of equal length. Studies have found that men and women with lots of brothers generally have more masculine finger ratios. ================================================================= Part 5 Faces This task looked at how you rate the attractiveness of a series of faces. The images you looked at were digitally altered to create slight differences in masculinity. Your choices suggest you prefer more feminine faces. Highly masculinised male faces possess more extreme testosterone markers such as a long, broad and lower jaw, as well as more pronounced brow ridges and cheekbones. Interestingly, women's preferences are said to vary across the menstrual phase. A more masculine face is preferred during the 9 days prior to ovulation, when conception is most likely. A typical 'attractive' female face possesses features such as a shorter, narrower, lower jaw, fuller lips and larger eyes than an average face. ================================================================= Part 6 3D shapes This task tested your ability to mentally rotate 3D shapes. Your score: 9 out of 12 Average score for men: 8.2 out of 12 Average score for women: 7.1 out of 12 If you scored 0 - 6: Do you find yourself having to physically rotate a map to point in the direction in which you're travelling? This might explain why you scored in the lower range in the 3D shapes test. Twice as many women as men score in this category. Previous studies suggest that those with a female-type brain or with an arts background fall into this range. If you scored 7 - 9: In past studies, 50 per cent of the people who scored in this range were women and 50 per cent were men. If you scored 10 - 12: Are you an engineer or do you have a science background? People with these skills tend to score in this range. Past studies have concluded that people in this range have a more male brain. Nearly a third of men who took this test got full marks, whereas less than 10 per cent of women managed the same. Words This task looked at your verbal fluency. Your score: you associated 15 word(s) with grey and you named 10 word(s) that mean happy. We are assuming that all the words you entered are correct. Average score for men: 11.4 words total Average score for women: 12.4 words total If you produced 1 - 5 words: You are more of the strong, silent type with a male brain. You probably find it easier to express yourself in non-verbal ways, preferring action rather than words. If you produced 6 - 10 words: Most people in this range have a female-type brain. Women are said to use both sides of the brain when doing verbal tasks while men mainly use their left side. Studies have shown that girls develop vocabulary faster than boys. This difference in brain power is caused by levels of pre-natal testosterone. Ultimatum This task asked you how you would divide money. If you had to split £50 with someone, you said you would demand £25 So far on the Sex ID test, men have demanded 51.6% (£25.80) of the pot and women have demanded 51.0% (£25.50), on average. Sex differences are small in this task. Demanding less than 60% of the pot (ie £30) is more typically female. Demanding more than 65% of the pot (ie £32.50) is more typically male. Scientists believe that people with lower testosterone levels tend to take fewer risks so they are probably more willing to keep less for themselves. Those with higher testosterone levels tend to drive a harder bargain and are less compromising. Men's testosterone levels fluctuate over the seasons and are at their lowest levels during the springtime. This is said to influence their bargaining power.

Smoking Laws

and it's about time. Ft. Worth is seriously looking at changing the smoking laws within the city limits; and it can't come a moment too soon for my tastes. Don't get my wrong, I'm not interested in taking away the rights of others, I'm much more interested in protecting the rights of me. If there was a bar in my general area who's owner had the balls to make it a non-smoking bar, believe me when I say that's the bar I would frequent. I hate coming home after a long day at work smelling like an ashtray simply because I decided to stop at a pub on the way home for a quick beer. That's my right - stopping for a beer on the way home. I'm not telling smokers they can't smoke, I'm just asking them to choose a different location in which to indulge their habit. Now, the city of Ft. Worth is asking them to do the same. Apparently, the City of Ft. Worth put together an ad hoc group called The Smoking Ordinance Review ad hoc Work Group to gather together recommendations in regards to the existing Ft. Worth smoking ordinance. This is the list they have created and will be discussing in the public meetings scheduled over the next two months. The work group is looking to enact a ban:

• in Restaurants
• in Bars
• in Billiard Halls
• Bingo Parlors
• in Bowling Centers
• in Business/Office Buildings
• in Service Lines, including those that extend out the doors of non-smoking facilities
• within 20 feet of any entrace or openable window of a non-smoking facility

They will provide exemptions for:

• Retail tobacco stores unless they open into a mall or another non-smoking venue
• Outside dining patios, except portions within 20 feet of facility's main entrance.
• Sexually-oriented adult entertainement businesses

If you want more information about the meetings, please contact the City of Ft. Worth Smoking Ordinance Hotline at 817-212-2710.

Bar owners, tobacco companies and smokers are in wild disagreement with the proposals arguing everything from A through Zed. Bar owners are claiming that their sales will go down, when in fact there exists massive data to prove the opposite. Tobacco companies are, of course, upset because they see a decline in sales. But, I expect they will see a decline in sales from the new "sin" tax that goes in effect on 1 January to the amount of $1.00 per pack. Smokers, the most vocal of the lot, are furious that their ability to blow their nasty exhalations at non-smokers will be diminished greatly. I look forward to day when I can, in my own city, walk into a bar and not immediately have to breathe the carcinogenic poisons being exhaled by others. I can do it in the states of California, New York, New Jersey, the countries of Scotland, England & Ireland, the city of El Paso; but I can't do it in the city in which I live. How frustrating. Make your voice heard and let them know that smoking is fine, in the privacy of your home or vehicle, but not in a public venue.

Wastrel On! (Listening to: Pride (in the Name of Love) by U2)

Enjoyable Diversion

This is a very enjoyable diversion, although I understand that addiction can occur. So enjoy, but be careful. Wastrel On! (Listening to: Baby, It's Cold Outside by Lee Ann Womack (featuring Harry Connick, Jr.))

Splashpower

I've been waiting for this for a LONG time. It appears that the consumer world at large is every bit as frustrated with the uselessness of current battery power as I am. So, some folks are taking it into their hands to correct it. My post from yesterday was one employable methodology. This Splashpower is another, much more elegant, solution. I sure as hell hope it works as advertised and that it's inexpensive enough for the commonman.

Trailer available

Oooh my... I'm a geek. I admit it. When I was just exiting High School, a new item swept through the geek world in the form of Transformers. Yeah, Transformers, those über-cool toy-cum-machine things. I bought and stole (yep...not proud of it, either) as many of them as I could because...well, because I'm a geek. And, it's about time for my geek to show again. The new Transformers Movie Trailer is available and I am just about as excited as I've ever been for a movie. As I said, I'm a geek. Check it out. Wastrel On!

news like this

It's news like this that does my little footy-heart good. Now if only we could convince the American populace at large that the sport really is worth watching. I fight the fight, walk the walk & talk the talk at bars & pubs across the country; but I encounter such immense resistance it's disheartening. In fact, the manager at one of my local bars just, pretty much, flat refuses to put footy on for me preferring instead to watch an infomercial about golf-clubs, or the cup-stacking championship or even the opening rounds of the World Domino Tour. Please. Wastrel On!

USB Batteries

Ok, now here's an idea who's time has come. It's long been known that Moore's law, and all the other tech-based theorems just don't seem to apply to batteries. Maybe that can changed one step at a time. Check these out: Groovy. I've not tried them yet, but the whole concept appeals to me greatly. You can read a review of them here. Wastrel On!

Lauren's Return Postponed

After nearly a year out, I was greatly looking forward to Lauren's return to the first XI tonight. But, it's not to be. Sometime between 6:15pm and 6:45pm it became so bloody foggy in ol' England that the Liverpool v Arsenal Carling Cup Quarterfinal has been postponed. Yes, the official, one Martin Atkinson, has deemed the match unplayable. So, for all of us gooners looking to watch Lauren on the pitch again...well too bad. Shan't happen today. Wastrel On! Listening to: Curve of the Earth by Matt Nathanson)

Och aye

Scottish Simpsons? What'll they think of next? Wastrel On!

A Travesty

A travesty on an immense scale!!

Eye Strain

Clever these. The first one gave me the most difficulty: Can you find the C? (Good exercise for the eyes!) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Once you’ve found the C………. Find the 6! 9999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999 9999699999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999 Once you’ve found the 6… Find the N! (it’s hard!!) MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMNMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Thanks Wastrel On! (Listening to Awkward Buildings by J. Dimenna)

Underdog the Movie

No, oh no, ohhhh no!!! As a child, I adored Underdog. In fact, to this day I have both an Underdog and a Polly Purebred PVC figure sitting on my desk at the office. This movie looks to be a travesty and almost certainly did not need to be made. Movieblog talks about it IMDB says it's in post-production with a tentative target date in 2007. The movie has some names attached to it, but most of them I don't recognize:

• Some kid named Alex Neuberger will be playing Jack, the boy that Shoeshine (Underdog) befriends.
• Amy Adams is the voice of 'Sweet' Polly Purebred
• Peter Dinklage will be Simon Barsinister (one of the most delightful villains ever!)
• James Belushi is listed in the credits, but I'm unclear why.
• and Jason Lee is the voice of Shoeshine, the Underdog himself.

You'll know Jason Lee as Earl Hickey from My Name is Earl or as the voice of Syndrome in The Incredibles, so at least we have some acting talent behind the embodiment of Underdog. Alex Neuberger is brand new on the acting scene, this being only his second movie despite being 14 years of age. Amy Adams you might recognize as Susan from Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby or as Ashley in the acclaimed Junebug. Lastly, Peter Dinklage you will recognize without even necessarily knowing you've done so. He's a dwarf and has developed quite a CV over the past 11 years. Perhaps you saw him as Miles Fince in Elf or as Finbar McBride in The Station Agent? He's a decent actor and will bring a new spin to Simon Barsinister.

All that being said, this movie better not wreck my memories of a perfect childhood hero.

Wastrel On! (Listening to: Parallel You by Valve)

Because the World's an Odd Place

Every so often you run across a site that just requires a bit of discussion. From the day I was born, on Halloween, I've been intrigued (some might label it obsession) by the strange, the weird, the supernatural, the unexplainable & the downright bizarre. It's true that I, in no way, match Charles Fort's -- from whom we garner the term fortean -- massive obsession that led to cult phenomena. No, I'm just a borderline obsessive geek that seeks out and devours stories of the oddities in our world. This newly-discovered site gathers together a few of the odd bits & bobs of our world and places them in one easily digested location for your entertainment. This particular page is the one that captured my attention because I've read about & discussed these folk for many years. Now, everyone else can, too. Wastrel On! Listening to: The Novaks by the Novaks

New Jersey has a shore?

As my delusional friend over at the Beautiful Tornado says, "This will humble you," as you attempt to match country names with their location on a world map. How well can you do?

and why the hell not...

this platform worked for "W".

A New Job

After much waffling, much discussion and much wringing of hands, I'm taking a new position. It was not, by any means, an easy choice. I truly enjoy my current position, the people I work with (except for three, whom I truly loathe), my boss (great lady!) and the work. Really; I do enjoy the work. It's consistently challenging and enjoyable. So, why the need for change? Well, money is the primary motivator here. It pretty much had to be. In the transportation industry a 6% raise (as some would have you believe) is pretty much a thing of the past. Our cost of living raise was delivered this past April at a sparkling 1.5%. That doesn't compete with my cost of living. Oh no, it doesn't. My house payment has risen more than $200 in the last 5 years. If it continues in that vein, I'll be stacking a second cardboard box on top of the first just so I can have a second floor. Yes, money was primary. The job should come with a monetary raise even though the move is lateral; and I have a commitment for a review in 6 months to a year that could result in both a promotion and another raise. Thse were key factors in my decision. Then there's the job itself. I'm fearful, but jubilant. Either way, as a friend recently said to me, "fate has a way of whizzing on those who wait." So, it's in my hands now. I've lept from the cliff edge, I just hope my wings are strong enough to hold me aloft. Wastrel On! (Listening to: Even When I'm Blue by Steve Earle)

Guinness, Arsenal & Photography

There's an economic law out there that makes an immense amount of sense, but that chaps me at the same time. Simply put, he who has what the market wants may charge what the market will bear. What the market will bear, in an airport however, is so far out of line with reality it's infuriating. I had the opportunity to sit at an excellent Irish bar in the newly opened D terminal of DFW airport yesterday. An Irish bar that charges nearly $8.00 per pint of Guinness. Is it because the Guinness is that much better? No. Is it because they have to pay more to the beer distributor to get it there? No. It's simply because they have Guinness AND they have a captive audience. When a flight from DFW to FRA gets delayed by 4+ hours, where are the poor folk who are stranded going to go? To the bar, or restaurant or similar place to while away a bit of time. He who has what the market wants, may charge what the market will bear. It's that simple; it's that infuriating. More infuriating than having a perfectly legitimate goal disallowed for a perceived handball? Probably not. Especially when that goal is by Thierry Henry in a Champion's League match in Moscow. The Arsenal failed to continue their fine run and lost 1-nil this afternoon in the very cold, inhospital clime of Moscow. CSKA Moscow will go into the second leg at the Emirates with a one-goal advantage and sitting on top of the table in Group G of the Champion's League. In other games today, Lyon beat Dynamo Kieve 3-0, Celtic got the better of Benfica also 3-0, and Manchester United towered over FC Copenhagen with a yet another 3-0 result. Changing the scoreline a little, but not the goal difference, Real Madrid managed 4 past Steaua Bucuresti, but gave 1 up to the home team. FC Porto, likewise, got 4 past Hamburg SV but gave one up in the final throes to achieve a 4-1 scoreline at the Estadio do Dragao. AC Milan, despite playing with 10 men for most of the second half did manage to beat Anderlecht while AEK Athens lost to Lille at the Stadium Lille Metropole. Tomorrow, Chelese will host Barcelona with Hilario tending the net for Chelsea. Let's hope that no further bad luck befalls Chelsea keepers. Liverpool travel to Bordeaux and the rest of the days games are blah for me. Meaning, i don't follow the teams, and couldn't tell you how to pronounce the manager's name. Now, in Photography news, I've (when I say, "I've," I really mean "we've," but since I'm doing it and will teach Marita Beth how later, it becomes "I've") just launched a new personal journal where, starting on November 1, 2006, we will endeavour to post one photo each per day for an entire year. Marita Beth will be doing this with me, so there should be two new photos every day. Some may have commentary, some may stand on their own. There may be days when we can't decide which to post so we send up several. There may even be days when we don't post, by accident or by design; however should that occur, expect double the amount the next day. The goal is to take a minimum of one photograph per day for an entire year. With digital cameras, that's easy. The purpose, is to become better photographers and do something together. I'm looking forward to it. The new blog is at krmb.wordpress.com. Yes, it's not at blogger, but that's 'cause I'm not overly enamoured of the blogger methodologies. Not sure I'll like WordPress any more, but I decided to give it a go before condemning it, wot? So, anyway, check over there come All Saint's Day and let's see where it goes in a year. So, that's that for the day. I'll be off soon and headed home. Until next time. Wastrel On! (Listening to: Psycho Killer by Talking Heads)

TRF and a Juggling Monkey

TRF was NOT fun. I mean, well, ok...I had fun. But, only because of the companionship. It was too hot and muggy to be comfortable; and with the exception of the fabulous Iris & Rose ( I love you, girls!) the musical entertainment is seriously lacking. All of the groups that I've been going to see for years are gone. No more Queen Anne's Lace, Bard O'Neill, Shantyman, Flying Fish Sailors or Rogues. What we have left is the overhyped Tartanic, Jim Hancock (who's worth seeing, really), Gypsy Guerilla Band and a very loud e Muziki. *bah* In fact, I was so frustrated with the entertainment, I composed and sent a letter to TRF. Then I thought, hey, I'm a programmer, let's make this available for others. So, a little bit of quick coding and here's a letter that you, too, can send to TRF to voice your concern. Please send a copy. TRF needs to know how negatively they have impacted the faire. Arsenal did win over the weekend on a brace from RVP. However, they had to come from behind to do it. Had an interview two hours ago. Went well, I think. Will find out in a week or two. Until then, amuse yourself with some monkey football. Wastrel On! (Listening to: New Year's Prayer by Jeff Buckley)

TRF, Arsenal & Flickr

It's that time of year again. Yep, TRF starts tomorrow morning. (You can check out their hideous website for more info). This will be the first time in years that I'm not going down every weekend. Although Marita Beth is working it, I'm not and thus don't feel quite the need to be there. The reasons are many-fold.

• The TRF managmeent has so dramatically reduced the entertainment budget that I fear I won't be adequately, well, entertained. As much as I love Iris and Rose, I don't really see myself spending all day every day at the Sea Devil Tavern.
• Marita Beth is working. Kelly is working. Hell, nearly all my friends are working; which means they won't have time to hang out & drink with me.
• The drive is damned long.
• Boarding my Border Collies, 'Tia and Cormac, is getting prohibitively expensive. I can justify it a few times during the run, but if I do it every weekend, there goes the disposable income that I'm trying to set aside for Dickens on the Strand in December.

What a pickle, wot? Flagrant Disregard is brilliant! The Flickr tools built here are simply wonderful. I'm sure much of it is due to some SDK or other that Flickr/Yahoo has released, but the result is amazing. Below is my profile, as built by the FD Profile Tool.

Arsenal are going into the weekend without (again) their core defence. We sold Ashley to those fucks on the other side of London Chelsea and in return we got Gallas who's now out for a number of weeks with a hamstring injury. Senderos got injured at the World Cup and still isn't back and his compatriot Djourou is now facing a late fitness test. Arsene, for some weird reason, still has faith in that useless Song kid, and is talking about putting him or Gilberto in that centre-half spot. Gilberto I can deal with, he's capable enough, but Song *shudder*. If he plays Gilberto there, then hat could leave the door open to place Baptista and Fabregas in the middle of the pitch; that's a pairing I can't wait to see work. But, 10 years at the helm and he's not made that many mistakes. I've got to keep my faith with the man. Come on the Arsenal. That's it for today. Wastrel On! (Listening to: )Louie's Return by Brother)

Happy Anniversary, Arsene

Arsene Wenger celebrates 10 years at the Arsenal today. And what a ten years it's been. The man, now the legend, arrived from relatively unknown Nagoya Grampus Eight and brought with him unique insights and philosophies of the world's game. He brought with him dieticians and psychologists and a training regime that other English clubs have since adopted. It can be argued that Arsene has had the greatest impact on English football of any football manager in the history of the sport. He certainly is the most effective of the long string of Arsenal managers. Have some footy of my own tonight, but aside from that it's right dull around here. That all for now, Wastrel On! (Listening to Susan Tedeschi)

3 Points to the Arsenal

Arsenal took 3 more points and a giant step toward topping the group with a nice win over Porto at the Emirates. Thierry Henry scored his second header in as many games, that goal also being his 50th in European competition. Here's to 51. Alexander Hleb also stuck the onion in the bag with a long-range shot making the game a 2-Nil victory on the papers, but a massive morale boost in the heads of the lads. Elsewhere, but still Arsenal-centric, the FA passed down a nine-month immediate ban with a further nine-month suspended ban for Jonathan Barnett, the cheeky bastard agent that authored the move of Ashley Cole from Arsenal to Chelsea. I maintain, though, that Arsenal got the better end of that deal by acquiring William Gallas and £5 million. Although, sadly, it appears that Gallas is out having suffered an injury in the Porto game last evening. Apparently, a hamstring injury that looks serious enough that Arsene is a bit worried. Fine way to spend your 10th anniversary with the club, eh? Oh, and what do you know, but I finally agree with something that that banausic, greedy, self-effacing head of FIFA, Sepp Blatter said. He wants to get rid of penalties as a deciding factor in World Cup finals. I can't agree more. In fact, I've always considered a game in any competition ending in penalties or "sudden death" to be a "tragedy" (that's Blatter's word, too). In the case of penalties, it reduces a team-game to a one-on-one situation; there's no call for that. In the "golden goal" or "sudden death" game, one stroke of good, or bad luck can destroy the dreams of millions with no hope of recovery because all of a sudden the game is over. I hate this solution even more than penalties. Now, were I as vain or pompous as Blatter, I might think that someone was spying on me and my emails. I had a fantastic email correspondance with my father recently where he, too, was decrying the penalty system. He put forth a system wherein you would gradually reduce the number of players on a pitch over a period of time. This is exactly what Sepp Blatter is proposing. Blatter has indicated that serious discussion will begin very soon and that a solution will be in place in time for the South African games in 2004. Let's hope so, because once again, the current system of deciding a game on penalties is a "tragedy" and cant' be allowed to continue. Spelunkers unite! That's it for now, kids. Wastrel On! (Listening to: Moses (Live) by Coldplay)

Looking forward

Hamburg is behind us, and it's time to cast our eyes to the weekend. Here's hoping we can capture some of that sparkle we had in Germany and use it on domestic soil. The weekend is fairly shimmering with mounting excitement. Arsenal travel to The Theatre of Stains to take on Fergie and his boys while the Reds from Liverpool make a journey south to tackle Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. I think it's a no-brainer as to which teams I'd like to see emerge on top of the blood-stained bodies of their opponents. The last time ManU(re) went 5 games winning, they went on to a full 10 games with out a loss or a draw. We'd really like to not see that again, because at the moment, ManU(re) are definitely the horse to stop. Of course, everyone wants to see Chelsea slip up. You're the man Liam! Back to Arsenal now; the Gunners make the trip to OT with both TH and RVP listed as doubts. Henry is still struggling with the knock he picked up on international duty, while van Persie gathered some sort of hip problem in the game against Hamburg the other night. Perhaps during his dive? On the otherhand, it appears as though Toure will be included in the squad even though he hobbled off the pitch barely 30 minutes in on Wednesday night. That's good news, because Fergie reckons that stocky little shit, Rooney will come to full maturity in the game and slip 20 goals past Lehmann. Whatever. Climb back inside your wine bottle, SAF, you belong there. That's it for now. I'm done being sick and back at work listening to Pandora's Music Genome. and feel free to send me any White Buffalos you run across.

Champion's League and bits and bobs

Champion's League, phase one of the group stage and Arsenal have found themselves in what appears to be an easy group, on paper anyway. We'll see Hamburg later today followed by FC Porto on the 26th of September (I'm a bit worred about this one) and then the last match of the first round of Group G against CSKA Moscow on October 17th. Then the reverse legs kick in. On paper, the Gunners are the best of the four teams; but the proof is on the pitch, or so they say. It sure could have been worse, though. ManU(re) are playing the Celtics today at Old Trafford in Group F, a group that also includes Benfica and FC Copenhagen. Yeah, I'd have not wanted the Arsenal in that group this year. Nor, I think, would I have wanted Group A which includes both Barcelona (last year's winners) and Chelski. I'll take our Group G opponents thank you very much. It turns out that Henry's injury is actually a foot injury that he picked up in the French international match last week. They doped him up with injections for the M'Borough game, but are choosing to rest him for this first CL match away to Hamburg. That, however, could throw some confidence in the path of a young Theo Walcott or perhaps to newcomer, Baptista both of whom have travelled with the team to Germany. And truthfully, I feel that he will be much more needed Sunday against ManU(re) than he will be today. So, good on you, boss. Right call. In other bits and bobs, it seems that Hoyte thinks he's good enough to replace Ashley. Whatever, Justin. You're deluded. You're not nearly the player that Ashley was and keep talking to the press like this, folks will start comparing you unfavourably to that wanker over at Chelsea. Gallas is a better option in the left-back role. Hell, Flamini is a better option. Give it up, son. I think that's all the important bits today, because frankly no one really cares who threw that pizza at Fergie, so long as it hit the bastard. Still sick, but hanging in there. So, perhaps a beer or a $17 million baby bigfoot is on the tap for me today. Until then, Wastrel On! (Listening to: Zealots by the Fugees)

Three games in...

It's three games into the season for the Arsenal (4 for nearly everyone else) and the boys still have not managed a win. They've not won at home, they've not won away; within the EPL that is. On the European stage, they're doing just fine having slotted Dinamo Zagreb to a 2-1 loss at the Emirates. Yes, just fine on the European front. But, if you can't win the EPL, where does that leave you? I'm positive it's not the announcer's fault. I'm equally positive it's not the length of the grass, although Wenger is just as unhappy about the height & depth of the pitch (so fix it already, it's your damn stadium, correct the issue and move on; this is a no whinging zone). So what is it? The Cole saga? Which, by the way, continues as the wanker serialises his "book" in the Times. The Reyes/Baptista swap-a-roo? The Walcott & Denilson hype? Maybe, the Arsenal just aren't as good as they used to be? Now, as I started this, we are only 3 games in; there are 35 more games to go in the Premiership and we will make up the ground. But, for my money, Mr. Wenger needs to get his team gelling on and off the pitch in ENGLAND. I realize the monetary need for Champion's League football and sure as hell not advocating a slow down of our progress on that stage, but dammit, the boys need to win a game in the Premiership. The game this upcoming weekend against ManU(re) would a great way to do that. That being said, the Arsenal are on their way to Hamburg to take a bite out of that little team in the first leg of this round. They are, however, making the trip sans Henry who picked up a mysterious foot injury in training yesterday. Yikes! Of course, since he's only scored once for us in the EPL and is still looking for his form, maybe the injury and subsequent rest from football duty is a good thing. Furthermore, it would appear that Arsene Wenger is not a fan of Ashley Cole's writing style while Fabulous Fabregas has agreed, verbally, to put pen to paper on a new 8-year contract with the Arsenal. In a radio interview, Cesc said: 'Everything with my new contract is agreed and next week I will sign it. ' That, my good friends, is excellent news for the Gunners. Fabregas will, no doubt, be one of the forces in EPL in a few short years. The boy has already gone from a no-starter, no-name to a star in the Spanish side. That's damned impressive. Right, that's all for now. I'm sick, my head feels like it's a mile wide and i don't believe in 6000 year old dinosaurs. Right. Ohh, and feel free to send killer frisbees my way. Wastrel On. (Listening to: Guilty by Tora Tora)

Transfer Window Slams Shut

and, typically, there was an insane flurry of players being tossed through the barely open window at the last minute. The big news is that Ashley Cole, embittered and unpopular, has finally brokered a deal that lands him at Chelsea. In return, Arsenal get £5 million and William Gallas. So, one embittered, unpopular, unhappy player for another but Arsenal get a monetary pie-topper. Sweet. It seems that everyone is happy and/or relieved that the longest transfer talks in history are finally over. It also appears that the other vocal, unhappy player on the team has finally run home to hide behind Mum's skirts. Yep, Jose Antonio Reyes has gone to Real Madrid in exchange for Baptista. And it's about bloody time, too. His constant whinging was really starting to grate; and since he wasn't all that effective a player for the Arsenal, I'm happy to see him off. I'd happily kick his arse on the way out the door if I but could. The word is that this transfer, in reality, consists of two year-long loans with the option to purchase at the end. So, we could very well be saddled with that whingy mum's boy again on the back side of his contract. In one final "quick, push him through the window" effort, it is reported that Arsene has signed the Brazilian Under 19 captain, Denilson. If so, that's excellent news. He could be a fantastic foil to either Baptista or Fabregas in mid-field. But, of course, he'll need to get a work-permit first so it may or may not happen. I see a lineup coming that sets my heart to flutter. GK: Lehmann, LB: Flamini, CB: Toure, Gallas, RB: Eboue, LM: Rosicky, CM: Fabregas (Baptista), Gilberto, RM: Ljungberg, ST: Henry, van Persie. now, if they can only get rid of their ridiculous need to score the perfect goal and just drop the bloody ball in the net; from long-distance if necessary. It doens't have to be waltzed in after a prolonged wine & dine session. Just shoot. That's all the news today. It's friday and I'm thirsty. (Listening to: Cathouse by Faster Pussycat) Wastrel On!

been a while

I know it's been a while since I last wrote. And, I shan't be writing long this time, either. But, this is fuckin' funny.
Ever feel like something just makes you want to punch a baby? Wastrel On!

The Fairer Sex

I've just come from watching the US ladies national team win over the Swedish ladies national team in Blaine, MN. There are a number of conclusions that can be drawn from this match. First, the officiating pretty much is awful at every level of every sport. Second, it's hot everywhere in the US right now. As I write this in North Texas, it's 99 degrees Farenheit outside my front door. In Blaine, MN, where the match was held it was 97 degrees Farenheit but with heat index and the fact that stadiums in general tend to trap heat, it measured 119 degrees on the pitch. I don't care where you are, that's hot. However, the one thing I noticed during the match that I will focus on here, is that ladies truly are the fairer sex. Now, in this case I'm not referring to their physical beauty because that's pure opinion (and in my opinion, there were 23 beautiful ladies on the pitch at all times--I'm including the centre official). No, I'm referring to the fact that they play fair, and have a sense of fair play around them. In the game, there were only 2 cards (yellow) given in contrast to any given game in the recently passed World Cup. Neither of those cards were non-deserved, they were given for true fouls and were deserving of the card presentation. Contrast that with how many cards were given in the World Cup because the official was duped by play-acting and you begin to see my point. How many time during the World Cup did a slight push result in the pushed player rolling about on the ground for an extended period in a protracted effort to get the other player sent off. This simply did not occur in the ladies match I just watched. It can't be because the ground is any harder or because they fell more or more violently. No, it's simply because the men, unlike the ladies, are banal & base in their instinct and choose to cheat rather than win fairly. I urge the professional side of the game to look, watch & learn from the ladies. They truly are the fairer sex in football. Wastrel On!

Australia v Italy

and I'm rooting for Australia. Mostly because they've never been this far in this tournament, but mostly because Italy are a bunch of cheating, whinging cowards with no regard for the beauty of the game. but, my gods who developed this inane 4-5-1 system and why is everyone using it? Australia will be lining up in this formation with Viduka the only man up top. Senseless. Viduka is a helluva striker, but the man needs a partner to play off. He no longer has the speed or stamina to go one-on-one with these back 4 boys. Give him Kewell or even Emerton to work with and the game balance will flow much nicer. Francesco Totti is out for Italy which will work in Australia's favour. Now, if we can get the officials to be up to the task as well as the players, we should be in for one cracker of a game. The Australians are very hard-working, strong & enterprising, while the Italians are very technically gifted, even if they are sore-losers. And the game is on. I'll report back mid-way through. And, again, thanks to Eurosport for allowing me the option of reading these games while they're happening. Cheers to that. **UPDATE** The teams leave the field for the dressing room very nearly even on all accounts. 50-50 possession. 1 yellow card apiece. Similary corner & offsides counts. It's beena very even contest proven in fact by the 0-0 scoreline. Of course, we all know it can't stay at that score, there has to be a winner in this game. Come on the 'Roos! And the second half has started. Tim Cahill for Australia almost immediately gets a yellow card for leading with his arm. He knows better than that. But, as if in effort to outdo the Aussies, the Italians go for a straight red card...and get it. On the 50th minute Materazzi hacks down a breaking Bresciano to gain a red card for his team. Let's hope this doens't disintegrate into a match like yesterday where there were more cards than passes. With that red card the immediate tide has shifted. It's all Australia now and Buffon is having to make save after save. More later. When is a penalty not a penalty? When it's given to a whinging Azurri after he trips on a blade of grass in the 90th minute of a must-win game. Australia lost because of a single bad call. The teams had held each other to a scintillating goal-less draw and the game was set to head to overtime. But no. Instead a very dubious penalty was awarded and the Italians scored to send them through and the Aussies home. Damn the luck. Wastrel On! (Listening to KTU & Adrian Belew)

Portugal v Holland

in one of the most ridiculous displays of officiating gone bad that I have ever seen, Portugal advance to the Quarter Finals 1-0 on a fantastically worked goal by Maniche and the Portugal team. However, the 2 Red cards and numerous yellows sustained by the Portugese in the match will not treat them well as they have to play England next. In all 16 yellow cards and 4 red cards were issued in a game that the Russian official had no control of. Sepp Blatter was reported as saying that the official effectively yellow carded himself in the match and that his standard was not up to the standard of the other people on the pitch. Personally, I believe that a Red card early in the match for a horrendous tackle on Ronaldo rather than the yellow that was given, would have offset much of what happened later. The early authoritative stamp may have curtailed some of the high-jinx that occurred later. The players don't have to play dirty, they just do because they can. Prove to them at the start of the match that they can not, and you have tossed sand on the sparks before it erupts into a full-fledged fire. Listening to KTU Wastrel On!

National Anthems and National Athletes

indulge me if you will. I am, by my own admission, not the most patriotic of individuals detesting as I do most of this administrations policies. However, were I lucky enough and good enough to be selected to play for my country in any sporting event you can bet your arse that I'd be belting out the national anthem as it was being played before the event. These athletes who stand in their team line and look sour-faced, as if they don't even want to be there put a bad face on the nation. Were it up to me, I'd make it mandatory that your entire staff, including the prima donnas on the pitch, sing during the national anthem. The exceptions being a) your anthem has no words or b) it's a cultural thing to not sing the anthem. The South Koreans in the first round, for instance, did not sing their anthem. Not a single player uttered a single word; however, their patriotism was so apparent in their body language that it wasn't necessary that they sing. Each player has his hand on heart, his head bowed and most had their eyes closed. They cared. Contrast that to God Save the Queen as just played for the English team. Sure David Beckham was singing, he's the media darling and wouldn't be caught not singing. However, dour faced, petulant Rooney couldn't be bothered to show even the slightest amount of pride. And that pasty Swede, I don't care if he's not English, he's coaching the English national team, sing the damn anthem!! I could say the same for the Ecuadorians (who are currently playing England) and for most every other nation out there, including the United States. Boys, you're playing for your country, show some pride, some solidarity and lift your voices with your nation. Wastrel On.

England v Ecuador

and England have to step it up. Sven lost the plot several months ago, and it's up to the players to re-find it. They have looked woeful and out of sorts since the first kick-off of their first game. Today they have a chance to set all that to rest, but can they get past the massive injuries and bad coaching decisions? For reasons defying most coaching logic, they are starting in a 4-5-1 with Rooney up top i the lone striker role. It has been proven time and again that this formation does not work with the England squad, yet Sven insists on continuing with this. Rooney hasn't played a full 90 minutes since he broke his foot in May, and I don't expect him to today with all the running he'll have to do as the lone striker. The match is being played in Stuttgart where it is currently 92 degrees Farenheit which has to favour the Ecuadorians. We'll see. To the England squad, "Sven is leaving, boys. Win this one for your country. Ignore the madman at the helm." Prediction 1-0 England **UPDATE** Ecuador has the first real chance in the 12th minute. A rare mistake by John Terry gifts Tenorio with the ball with only Robinson between he and the net. Thank the gods for Ashely Cole, the best left back in the business. From out of nowhere, he comes streaking in to deflect Tenorio's on-target shot up and onto the bar. So, a corner kick instead of a goal. We'll take that...and thank you, Ashley Cole. **UPDATE** These two teams have only met once before, 26 years ago and at that time, England emerged the victors. I expect that that game was considerably more entertaining than this one. Neither team has managed to get anything going and the flow of the game is consistently being interrupted by bad passes and fouls. From both teams. Although England does seem to have the edge in shots, none of the shots have been very good and have not tested the Ecuadorian keeper at all. The thing that beggars belief in my mind is the size & experience of the Ecuadorian back line versus the size & experience of the potential England front line. Only one of the four Ecuador fullbacks even reaches 6' which would give a massive advantage to England if they had Crouch's 6'6" frame in the mix. It would also revert the lineup back to the "we know it works why don't we use it" 4-4-2 formation instead of this useless 4-5-1 that Sven insists on. **UPDATE** An absolutely tepid, tea-sipping affair here. Nothing exciting going on barring the golden opportunity that went begging for Tenorio. At this stage of the game, Terry's mistake and Cole's cover has been the most exciting aspect of the game. Once again, Sven proves he's not the manager he thinks he is. Let's hope for some changes in at least the tempo if not the England lineup. Otherwise it'll be England going home, rather than the underdogs, Ecuador. **UPDATE** The second half is underway and this troubling stat has just come to light. England's record when tied at half-time in World Cup play is 9-9-10. Since there cannot be a draw when this game concludes, we can only hope that the record will be 10-9-10 when it's all said and done. Alexi Lalas, the ex-US national and half-time commentator for ABC in these World Cup games believes that this game will go to penalty kicks. The way these two teams are playing, I can't really refute that. **UPDATE** The 60th minute and David Beckham converts. An absolutely stunningly, inch-perfect deadball into the lower corner gave the Ecuador keeper absolutely no chance. It seems to have sparked the English team, they're playing with more urgency and pace right now than I've seen in their 4 games thus far. Although David Beckham has his critics, me among them, this is why the man is in the squad. He's lethal in these situations, probably the very best in the world. If only the remainder of his skillset was up to the media-spin that is created around him. and now, only 5 minutes later, Beckham is heaving. The man is dehydrated and out-of-shape and throwing up on the pitch. I've watched a lot of football all over the world, and at the professional level, I've never watched a player throw up on the field. I hope he's well. The English goal has galvanized the Ecuadorians, too. They seem more full of life now as well. They know they have to score to escape the penalty of going home. But the England fans are doing every thing they can to suppress the Ecuador spirit. Every few moments, it seems God Save the Queen echoes through the stadium and rings the ears of all the players involved. The 12th man, in the form of the fans is alive and kicking in Stuttgart. **UPDATE** 87th minute and England replaces Beckham, who has continued to look ill, and ill-at-ease, with Lennon. Lennon will spark the team and bring some much needed urgency and skill to that right-halfback position. Beckham handed off the Captain's band to John Terry (I believe, although it could be Lampard). England will be content to just hang onto the ball and waste as much time as possible. But, like what happened in the England v Sweden game, it only takes one mistake to force a draw. And the three additional minutes can be an eternity. As the saying goes, it only takes a second to score a goal. With less than a minute left, Gerrard comes off to make way for Stuard Downing. And we still haven't seen Theo Walcott. What exactly was Sven thinking, including the boy in his squad and not blooding him at all. Some sort of weird fear vs. honour thing going on? And that's it. England move into the quarter finals while Ecuador go home. And the only goal of the very dull match coming from a spectacular free kick by David Beckham. They'll have to play much better than this in the Quarter Finals as they face either Portugal or the Netherlands (that game is coming up next) if they want to win that game. As a matter of record, England have made it to the Quarter Finals in 4 of the last 5 World Cups. But this year, I think it's more down to luck than skill or tenacity. That's it. I'll be watching the next game at my local, so might not get the report in. More to come, Until then, Wastrel On!

Knockout Stages - Day 1

I missed the opportunity to write in my thoughts on the last couple of days; so instead of trying to remember what happened and who did what and when, I'm just moving on through to the knockout stages with the teams. The Germany/Sweden game in Munich starts in 20 minutes and I am primed and ready. According to Reuters, more than 100,000 fans have descended on the German city to watch the game. Obviously not all of them can go to the game, so the city has set up viewing areas scattered about the beauty that is Munchen. At Olympic Park, more than 30,000 fans can watch the game on massive screens while enjoying the beautiful day. While at the English Gardens another 7,000 can enjoy oompah bands and beer leading up to the game then relax and watch the match. I'm torn on the game, but I think my bottomline is for Germany! Even though the Swedes boast one of my favourite players in Freddie Ljunberg (Arsenal man), I did live in Germany for three years. It's in Germany where I kicked my first football and developed a life-long passion. It's in Germany where I watched my first football match. And even after returning to the US, Soccer Made in Germany, the PBS production, was a weekly event in our house. So, Germany will take this one 2-1 and advance. **UPDATE** it's only the 5th minute and Germany have a one goal lead by a massive goal poach from Podolski. A sublime turn by Klose left him one on one with Isaksson. Isaksson tripped him up that on another day with another official likely would have been a penalty, but Podolski following up the movement pounced on that spilled ball and struck it with some authority into the net. And now, in the 12th minute, Podolski buries another one. It's 2-0 to the Germans with both goals being authored by Klose and published by Podolski. Sweden better find the plot if my prediction is to hold true. and yes, I have ever right whinge about "Americans not understanding the sport." Despite the commentators on XM Radio who are, apparently quite tired of the whinging, Americans by and large do not understand the sport. They cannot comprehend how a game can be played for 90 minutes and not produce a winner. They cannot see how a 90 minute game that produces no scoring can be exciting. Doubt me? Come to my local and try to talk to the regulars gathered around their beers and margaritas about soccer. You'll get blank stares or inane, peurile arguments about how boring & dull it is, while they glance constantly at whatever golf tournament happens to be showing on one of the numerous televisions. Yes, I have a right to whinge. **UPDATE** It's all Germany now. Shot after shot after shot on Isaksson's net and in the 35th minute a second yellow card to a Swedish player sends him to an early shower. Sweden have an enormous task ahead of them, two goals down and now a man down. If they have any desire to remain in Germany, they must refind their drive. It was always going to be difficult playing a very strong German team in Munchen, but now the task is gigantic. **UPDATE** It is half-time and Germany lead Sweden into the dressing room by 2 goals to nil. Sweden now face the monumental task of returning to the pitch for another half, demoralized, dejected, 2 goals and 1 man down. Can they do it? Can they come back from the deficet? Anything, anything at all is possible in football. Will they do it? I think not, but I'd sure like to see them try and in the process score a goal. **UPDATE** Second half underway and Sweden come out with authority and reason. Henrik Larsson is taken down in the German box and is awareded a penalty for his efforts. A lifeline for Sweden and Larsson steps up to take it. Oh my, over the net and Germany maintain their 2 goal lead on the poor Swedes. The Swedish fans can't believe their eyes. They've come so far, this team in yellow & blue. But, being only 4 for 7 in their World Cup history on penalty kicks says that that is not the way they're going to win this game. **UPDATE** Isaksson is far and away the best player on the swedish team for this match. Aside from two blisters from Germany, he's kept out no less than 6 crtical in-the-net rockets. Sadly for him, it looks like he's headed home. But, his performance today certainly proves to me the validity of Arsene Wenger's interest in the keeper. Perhaps in the close season we can entice the man to come and give Lehmann a challenge for that Arsenal number one. With less than a minute to go (plus stoppage), Germany sits on the verge of a third consecutive clean-sheet and advancement to the quarter-finals. The winner of this game will play the winner of today's next game, Mexico v Argentina. And that's a match who's outcome I can't predict because I'm just not sure which team I most wish to see lose. I'll probably head down to my local, and despite the vacuous stares and diffidence, I'll enjoy the game. Must be just seconds remaining and yes, Germany has elminated Sweden with a 2-0 victory. Plenty of hugs & kisses await the German team, while tears and sadness await the Swedes. Germany have now played 287 minutes of football without conceding a goal and have reached the quarter finals in 15 of 16 World Cups, a truly remarkeable pair of statistics. Argentina v Mexico was everything a game could be. It had drama, spectacular passing, and one of the most spectacular goals you'll ever see. Maxi Rodriguez took the ball on a long switch off his chest and volleyed it across the face of the goal into the upper 90. This occurred in the second half of overtime to give Argentina a win. The possession and dominance see-sawed through the entire match with neither team truly dominating. Mexico did score first, but then they scored again, in the wrong goal 5 (or so) minutes later to even it up. That was the last goal scored (in the 12th minute) until that wundergoal in overtime that gave Argentina the game. And with the win came the realization that they now face Germany in the next round. More tomorrow. Until then, Wastrel On!

Match Day 3 for the US

and a must win game for the national team. Should the US fail to win, they will be coming home. Not as disgraced as the 1998 tournament, but certainly not pleased; and in so doing will deal yet another blow to the football movement in the US. Thus, I am rooting very hard for the United States, not so much because I was born here and live here, but because I want football to be a success here. Because Americans hate a loser, we have to win. But, sadly, just a win won't do it unless we beat Ghana by more than 4 goals which I truthfully don't see happening as we have yet to score even a single goal in this tournament. So, I'm really hoping that Italy smack the Czech Republic about a bit and emerge the winners in that game. An Italy win combined with a US win will see the US through to the round of 16. Later in the day we'll see Japan host Brazil and Croatia play Australia. Brazil are definitely going through, but the other spot is still open and any team can take it. The first games have started and the US have come out in a very interesting 4-3-3 formation. Without Mastroeni & Pope, the midfield has had to be shuffled about a bit, and it looks like Reyna will be playing a deep holding role allowing McBride, Donovan and Lewis to surge forward. Goals are a must and it looks like we're trying to take the game to Ghana. Ghana, for their part, are without their only goal-scorers through yellow-card suspension. Not usually a vocal member of Sam's Army, I am today for the sake of football in this decidedly non-football nation. Come on the boys! **UPDATE** I'm at work, reading the games on Eurosport, but not actually watching them. I do, however, record them and watch them when I get home. However, my wife is at home (she works from home) and today when the TV switched channels to record the USA/Ghana game she ignored it as she always does. But not for long. The drone of millions of voices finally took shape in her ears as the National Anthem of the US. So, she abandoned her morning work to go and view what was really happening. Seeing all the patriotic faces and flags and so many people singing joyously for our team, she decided to take on another task in a room with a TV. She'll be watching this game as it's happening. Colour me jealous. **UPDATE** on 22 minutes it's all gone a bit pear-shaped for the US. Ghana have scored and Reyna is taken off the field on a stretcher. I have no more than that at the moment. on the 26th minute, Italy go up 1-0 over the Czech Republic which means that the US can still go through if they get their act together. Reyna is back on after nearly a full five minutes on the sideline. Hopefully he'll be able to last the game. Sadly, he can't. Claudio Reyna, the experienced centre mid-fielder for the US is coming off in the 40th minute. It's an uphill climb now for the United States. and they SCORE!! It's in the net, it's in the net. Clint Dempsey on the 43rd minute, where are his critics now? But, the offical, not to be outdone awards a penalty to Ghana less than 2 minutes later; and Ghana have the lead 2-1 at the break. Hard done on America having to play against 12 men. Hard done on the Czech Republic, too. If Ghana win, and Italy win then it's the number 2 and the number 5 FIFA-ranked world teams that are headed home while the number 14 & number 48(!) teams advance. Truth be told, if the US don't advance I'm more inclined to hold hope out for a small Ghana nation than for the Czech Republic. The Italy & the Czech Republic game have entered the break at 1-0 to the Italians. **UPDATED** The games have restarted and Ghana are really just toying with the US at this stage. Yet more proof that the FIFA rankings are cocked up. **UPDATED* Twenty minutes (or less) remain in the matches and all signs point to the CR & the US going home. But, it's a funny ol' game and no match is over until it's over. I've watched Liverpool comeback from a 3-0 deficit at halftime to win the game. Anything is possible. It's up the US to regain the plot and the Italians to not lose it. **UPDATED** ye gods what a thrilling group this Group E has been. Perhaps it's not shaking out as I expected, but what the hell that's what footy is all about, wot? Italy have just secured a second goal to almost certainly send the Czech Republich home. Sadly, it appears as though the US will also be going home as they seem rather lost without their talismanic captain, Reyna. and they have...Italy have beaten the Czech Republic in an astonishing 2-0 encounter in Hamburg. Italy are through as the winners of Group E, they'll play the runner-up of Group F on Monday the 26th. The US need the win desperately. They're throwing everything at the ball in a bid to gain two quick last-gasp goals. I fear it's all over for the heroes of Sam's Army and once again the hopes & dreams of soccer fans the nation over will be dashed against the walls of American indifference. The entire nation of Ghana must be going crazy. Who'd have ever thought they'd win a game, much less two and finish second in the group? Intheir first ever World Cup, Ghana will advance out of the first round. They'll have to play the winners of Group F which for all purposes will be Brazil unless Japan shocks the world and beats them later in the day. Fantastic Ghana have won 2-1 in Nuremburg and are through. The USA are going home. At least the USA scored a goal of their own in this game. They've given a sorry account of themselves, this over-hyped, over-paid USA team. But, they'll be back in four years with fresh faces and a fresh look. Time to move forward. Excellent job to the Ghana team spirit and the Italian fortitude. **UPDATE** The second round of matches has just started and Croatia, in a must win situation find themselves the early leaders on the beauty of a 2nd minute goal by Sma. Should Croatia defeat Australia and Brazil defeat Japan then Brazil & Croatia go through to the knock-out round. An Austria/Croatia draw brings it down to goal differential in which Australia currently has the edge. These two groups today, E & F, this is fascinating stuff. So much to play for. **UPDATE** GOAL! In the 35th minute, Tamada opens the scoresheet for Japan leaving Brazil reeling. Japan 1 - Brazil 0! The impossible dream for Japan is on the books, now if they can only hold it. in the other match, Australia are still losing to a resilient Croatian team. It's all up for grabs today, kids. Any of these four teams could advance. **UPDATE** My gosh how I wish i was watching these games instead of just reading them on the Eurosport play-by-play (as good as that is). What fascinating turns have occurred. Both games are going into the break as 1-1 draws. Tim Cahill secured a penalty for Australia which Craig Moore easily converted. That opened the doors for Australia. Ronaldo, for Brazil, headed in a goal from a Cicinho cross. Where are his detractors now? That leveled it for Brazil on the stroke of half. And my but don't we have some drama going on in Germany? **UPDATE** the Japanese dream is slowly fading. They're defending too deep considering that they have to win to advance, and now Brazil has scored a second. Juninho with a 30 yard strike that should have been stopped has instead nestled snugly in the net. It's Brazil's to lose now. In the other match, we're still at 1-1 with neither side taking the necessary risk to open it up. **UPDATE** and it really is all over for Japan now. The game still has 5 minutes in it, but I don't think the poor, Japanese players even know what hit them. Having another team score first has set Brazil on edge and they've just played brilliant, beautiful exhibition football ever since. This the Brazil we've been waiting for, so in some respects, "Thank you, Japan and we're sorry to see you go." The score is 4-1 Brazil in the 85th minute. Brazil have really spread the goals out, too with 1 each coming from Ronaldo, Gilberto (Arsenal man!), Juninho and Ronaldinho. Ghana will certainly have their work cut out for them when they meet on Tuesday the 27th. In the other match, Croatia have stabbed themselves by allowing a second Australian goal in the 78th minute by Harry Kewell and going down to 10 men 8 minutes later (although it could have been/should have been 9 men as one of their players is currently on 2 yellow cards in the match). Croatia need a win to advance while Australia will move forward with this draw. Croatia have less than a minute (plus stoppage time) to pull this one out. And that's that. What amazing stuff. Australia and Brazil go through. Brave, foolish Croatia and Japan are headed home, their World Cup over. The final third day matches are tomorrow. So until then, Wastrel On! (listening to: a Conference call in my office & South Pacific Soundtrack & the Andrew Sisters & Erasure & Talking Heads & Pretenders & Big Country & Naked Eyes & Sonic Youth)

World Cup Day 13

Match Day 3 for Portugal, Mexico, Iran, Angola, Holland, Argentina, Ivory Coast & Serbia & Montenegro. Portugal plays Mexico for group position, while Iran & Angola take on each other. In certain scenarios, Angola can actually leap past Mexico and go through with Portugal, but it requires Portugal to beat Mexico by more than 2 goals and Angola to beat Iran by more than 2 goals. I don't really see either of those happening. So, most likely Angola will be going home, too. Iran was a foregone conclusion. Currently, it's half time in the first matches of the day. Portugal lead Mexico 2-1, while Iran & Angola have played to what I'm sure is a thrilling 0-0 draw. More later. Until then, Wastrel On! (Listening to Paul Simon)

Days 11 & 12

I completely missed day 11, I've not even seen the games, but i do know the results. In a nutshell Switzerland went to town on Togo leaving a disheartened African nation in a 2-0 wake. Next, the Ukraine completely dismantled Saudi Arabia 4-0. What is it with Group H and the 4-0 scorelines? Spain, as the final game of the day and the last game in the second round of the group stages won 3-1 over Tunisia. The Spaniards went into the break a goal down, but then Cesc Fabregas came on in mid-field and revolutionized the game while galvanizing his team-mates. The Arsenal man is quickly becoming a national hero for Spain. At this stage the following teams are definitely going home, even with one more match to play: Costa Rica Poland Paraguay Iran Serbia & Montenegra For the next 4 days, the tournament will host 2 games at a time. These third-day matches are critical quite often, so FIFA wisely refuses to afford any team an advantage by knowing the outcome of the other game in the group. So, Group A plays both games this morning (they're on right now), while Group B plays later in the day. Tomorrow it'll be Groups C & D and so on until the group stages are done. At the moment, Germany is besting Ecuador on a Klose goal in the 4th minute. While Poland & Costa Rica, playing for honours & nothing more, are tied 1-1. This final race to the finish is always one of my favourite parts of the tournament, because for so many teams it's not over until it's over. Unfortunately it means that I will not get to see every match. For the next four days I have to make a decision on which games to watch. Today was easy, I don't need to see Poland play Costa Rica in a nothing game. I do, however, want to watch the Germany/Ecuador game. Other groups are not so easy, like Group E for instance. It's vitally important to see both the Italy/Czech Republic game and the US/Ghana game, but a choice has to be made. I'll tell you which one I choose when it happens. **UPDATE** Group A is complete! Sad Costa Rica went through the entire tournament without winning, but they did manage to score three goals. Poland beat Costa Rica 2-1 on the day and the South Americans are going home. Poland, too, but with a win in their pocket & their eyes on the the next competition. Germany were the decisive winners of Group A. They placed Ecuador squarely in 2nd place with a 3-0 win in Berlin. The group shakes out thus: Germany 3 wins for 9 points. 8 goals for - 2 against. Ecuador 2 wins, 1 loss for 6 points. 5 goals for - 3 against Poland 1 win, 2 losses for 3 points. 2 goals for - 4 against Costa Rica 0 wins, 3 losses for 0 points. 3 goals for - 9 goals against. Germany will play the 2nd place of Group B, while Ecuador will take the 1st place team. Those line-ups will be determined in the next few hours. **UPDATE** The second games for today are underway. We're 25 minutes into the matches and thus far the teams are holding steady at 0 goals each. Unlike the teams in Group A, where there two clear-cut winners and two clear-cut losers, this group is a little more murky. England are definitely through, but will they finish in first or second? Sweden, who have won one and drawn one, can leap England into first place with a victory in today's game. Should that happen, then Trinidad & Tobago, along with Parguay are going home. Should Sweden draw against England then again, both T&T and Paraguay head to the showers. However, should England win then Trinidad & Tobago can pass Sweden on goal-dfferential; but since T&T have yet to score and Sweden have yet to concede, this final scenario seems unlikely at best. England started the game with Owen & Rooney up top, a marvelously skilled pair but it's unlikely to work. And we certainly aren't going to see it work today because Owen is off on the 3rd minute and replaced by Peter Crouch. Someone please give Sven a knock on the noggin. The man has completely lost the plot. That's it for now. Until then, Wastrel On! (listening to: Paul Oakenfold & Le Tigre)

Yellow Card diatribe

I am exhausted. Every time I turn on the television, or the radio I hear commentators and fans and players decrying the number of Yellow Cards being given in this year's tournament. Well, to me, the yellow cards are critical to controlling the players. Take away the yellow cards and the petulant brats that are the national stars of these 32 nations will take over the game. We'd see a rash of diving, "simulation" FIFA calls it, like you've never seen before. We'd see more dissention than even the most hardened, seasoned official could stomach. We'd have officials surrounded by over-paid, under-skilled, schoolyard bullies at every single call. I applaud the hard line that FIFA has taken this year and encourage it to continue. The very hardest job on the pitch and the one most hated and under-valued and under-paid is the job of the official. Imagine a religion without a god. What would be the purpose? There wouldn't be. There'd be no saviour nor devil. No single being responsible for laying down and controlling the laws of the religion. Now, imagine a football match without an official. What would be the point? Who would ensure that the 17 (yes, only 17) laws of the game are understood and obeyed? Who would hand out the penances when the law was not obeyed or the spirit of the law was broken? Yes, the official's job in this religion we call football is that of the god. If only for 90 minutes (plus stoppage), that single entity controls the game and hands out the penances and indulgences as necessary. If those penances take the form of a yellow card, then that yellow card is deserved and who are we to criticize the man that hands them out? For me, the yellow cards in this year's competition have done more to preserve the integrity of the game than any other single factor. Certainly more than the idiots complaining about them. Perhaps in future years, because of this year, there will be fewer cards because the player's will learned their lessons. Wastrel On!

Day 10

It's day 10 of the world Cup and the first match of the day was between Japan & Croatia. I missed the game, but it ended in a nil-nil draw with both sides having their chances. Japan's keeper came up with a massive save on a penalty kick while Japan missed a sitter and squirted the ball wide of an empty net. Brazil & Australia are at half-time and the score remains at nil-nil here as well. The primary difference in this game is that Brazil has eleven fantastic players while Australia has one fantastic team. The Brazilians are not playing effectively and have been unable to net a goal due to a very effective Australian defence. Of course, as I write this, the second half has started and the Brazilian's have stepped up the pace a bit and scored in the 4th minute of the half. This gives Brazil 193 goals in 88 World Cup matches compared to Australia's 3 goals in 4 World Cup matches. Ronaldo, himself is tied with Pele for World Cup goals and is only 2 off the record. He could very well set a new record in this competition. So, knowing that, and knowing that teams scoring first are 18-2-2 in this year's tournamet, Australia have an uphill battle. Even though I pulled Brazil in the blind World Cup pool I'm in, come on the Socceroos! **UPDATED** and at the death of regular time, substitute Fred within seconds of his arrival taps one home giving Brazil a 2-0 lead and pretty much securing both their passage into the second round and Brazil's record-holding 9th consecutive World Cup win. The game is over and Brazil are headed to the second round for the 10th straight time. Australia, however, is still very much alive, but need to beat or draw against Croatia in 5 day's time. Next up is South Korea vs France. I think I'm going to watch this one from a bar. Cheers. More later. Until the, Wastrel On!

It's the 9th day

of the World Cup and surprises have been coming fast and hard from all corners from the start. The first game of the day, was a dull, relatively lifeless match between Iran & Portugal. The first half ended nil-nil, but Portugal came out with a little more of a mission in the second half. A goal by Deco opened the sheet while Figo got on the board a little while later. The 2-0 win for Portugal makes them the 6th team to secure passage into the second round, and there's still a game to play. For Iran, even with a game to play, their World Cup dreams are done and dusted. **UPDATED** The Ghana & Czech Republic match has just started; and just like that Ghana are up 1 goal to nil by Gyan. This goal stands, currently, as the fastest goal scored in the tournament in the 2nd minute (1'18" I think) and one of the fastest in World Cup history (the fastest occurred in 2002 at 11 seconds). Jan Koller, for the Czech Republic is out having sustained an injury in the first match. As a matter of point, Koller has 43 international goals for his national team while the entire national team of Ghana have only ever scored 43 goals. The Czech Republic will miss Koller in this match, but they still have Rosicky and Nedved, two of the best players on the planet. Of course every fan of the United States team is hoping sincerely for a Ghana win to help salve the wounds the Czech Republic left on the US team. Should this result stand, the US cannot help but be bolstered, morale-wise, in their game against Italy later today. **UPDATE** It's halftime in Cologne (Koln) and the Ghana team have stunned the Czechs with their 1-nil lead going into the dressing room. Not just the team, but the fans, too. Even the stadium is very quiet especially when compared to the typical Czech roar. As a point of fact, the Ghanese are the youngest team in the world cup this year with the average age being just over 24 years of age; but their relative inexperience have certainly not prevented them from beating the wiley Czechs to the net. **UPDATE** The second half of the match in this must-win game for Ghana is underway. Both sides have made one change to their lineup, with the more surprising move coming from the Czech team. They've called off their captain to replace him with Polak in the mid-field. While, the Ghana team have put Boateng in, presumeably to take advantage of his pace. and oh my! Nedved scores on the 39 second of the half, but it's offside. The entire United States and the nation of Ghana sigh with relief. If Ghana win this game, the US can not be eliminated today and Italy can not secure passage through today. It will require that third game be played. Personally, if you've not guessed by now, I'm hoping for a Ghana win despite my admiration for Rosicky (an Arsenal player) and Nedved. **UPDATE** amazing, gripping stuff in this match. In the 64th minute, a Ghana striker is tripped in the box resulting in a penalty kick. While the ball is being set for Ghana, a Czech player, Ujfalusi is show a straight red card apparently for the foul. Perhaps he was the last defender, but with the Pathetic Coverage by ABC is almost impossible to tell. The Ghana player took the spot while the red card was being issued and received a yellow card for his efforts. Therefore the ball is respotted for him to try again, but this time, the soccer gods were definitely not on his side as he squarely struck the woodwork. The scoreline remains at 1-0 to the Ghana, but the drama has been phenomenal. The CR have the final 20 minutes now to play with only 10 men. It's going to be a hard road for them, but perhaps the newly agitated and awakened crowd can be that 11th man for the Czechs. **UPDATE** It's the 83rd minute and Ghana have just scored their second. Cech has been stunning in the CR net, but it was only just a matter of time. The Czech defence is in pure disarray and only Cech has kept CR in the match making save after beautiful save. However, a beautifully worked play by Ghana beat everyone including the magnificent Peter Cech to give Ghana a richly deserved 2 goal lead and the US a massive morale boost and hope. and in the 89th minute, a third goal by Ghana is called back for offsides. A bad decision by the striker to play the ball to a more advanced striker. Had he just shot, it would have been 3-0 legitimately. Ghana have been in the driver seat since the second half started and have firmly relegated the Czech to the back seat. Not even inviting them forward to fiddle the radio knobs. Czech Republic have effectively left the match, not even Rosicky & Nedved are making an impact and their frustration is mounting. This is a very well deserved win for Ghana who will each received a $20,000 bonus from the Ghana government. And the game is over. Ghana, despite a late press from the Czech Republic that forced two massive saves from Kingson hang onto that vital 2 goal lead and have created a three-way tie in the group for first place. Should the US win against Italy (that game starts in an hour), then there will be a 4-way tie for the lead. What a beautiful game! **UPDATE** Italy v USA 1-1 draw. And what a game. I watched this from a nearby bar, so it didn't get reported on as it was happening, I'm doing this after the fact (the next day to tell the truth). The game was a fascinating affair with the first of many cards given out in the fifth minute. The first goal of the game, by Italy was a gem. A perfectly slotted cross & an immaculate header beat Kasey Keller and the US defence to the net to give Italy a crucial 1 goal lead. In this competition, the team that scores first has won all but 4 matches and of those 4, only 2 were losses. So, this was an immense blow to the US as the idiot commentators kept reminding us. The second goal, also by Italy but placed in their own net, was another perfectly slotted cross. This one went by all defenders except one who deftly flicked it past his own keeper into the corner of the net. Celebrations were delayed as the team, the commentators and even the spectators in the bar tried to figure out just what the hell had happened. Confusing, but ultimately and happily, it went on the scoreboard as a 1-1 game. Late in the game, substitute Demarcus Beasley scored a brilliant goal, but another US player was called for offsides. Although this other player (I don't recall who) wasn't active in the play and didn't touch the ball, he did impede the keeper's vision and was in an offside position. So, even through Bruce Arena's "that's our fucking matchball" comment, we all had to agree that the call was correct. Sad, unfortunate, but correct. Luckily, with Ghana having beat the Czech Republic, we were saved from humiliation and still have a chance. If we beat Ghana in 5 days and Italy beats the Czech Republic, the US enter the round of 16. So there you have it, another hapless day for the US. More later. Until then Wastrel On!

Serbia & Monte-who?

Argentian made short work of the Europeans and sent them home with a decisivie 6-0 victory in Gelsenkirchen. That sits Argentia squarely at the top of Group C and forces Ivory Coast into a must-get-a-point situation against the Netherlands. Any result that gets the IC a point could salvage their World Cup hopes, but a loss will truly shatter them. **UPDATE** Currently, it's the break of the Netherlands, Ivory Coast match in Stuttgart and the Netherlands have a slim lead. It's 2-1 to the Dutch in a thrilling encounter. Robie Van Persie, the Arsenal man bagged one for the Dutch on the 23rd minute. His EPL counterpart Ruud van Nistelrooy netted on 27 minutes to give Holland a 2-0 lead. However, on the 38th minute, Kone scored for the Ivory Coast and that's how the teams left it at the break.

**UPDATE** and the final is in. Ivory Coast, with Serbia & Montenegro are going home. A very brave, classy display notwithstanding, the Netherlands simply were the better team on the day and on the pitch. No goals in the second half, and the game ended as it did at the break; 2-1 to the Dutch. Ivory Coast should be proud of their performances and can enter their last match against S&M with their heads held high. One more match for the day. It's Mexico v Angola in Hanover. Angola must win or draw to have hopes of advancement. A loss will see them going the way of the Ivory Coast. See you in 50 minutes for kick-off.

**UPDATED** Good Read The final match of the day is 10 minutes away. Will Mexico secure their passage into the second round, or will Angola come out swinging and knock the Mexicans off their unearned pedestal? The Angola keeper, Joao Ricardo thinks that "even thought it was a defeat [against Portugal]...we will be a little more ambitious, a little more positive" in this upcoming game. At the same time, it's being reported that Jared Borgetti, the record goalscorer for Mexico will not feature in this game having suffered an injury against Iran. It looks to be a good game, and frankly, I'm pulling for the African nation, Angola. We've seen one already knocked out (Ivory Coast), I'd love to see Angola go through.

**UPDATE** 20 minutes into the match and already Mexico is stamping their intentions all over the match. Nearly 85% of the game has been played in the Angolan half of the pitch and the Mexicans have had 3 must-be-stopped shots on the Angolan net. Ricardo has thus far been up to the task of keeping the ball out of his bag, but the frustration is mounting.

**UPDATE** It's half-time in Hanover and despite the Mexican team's early urgings, Angola has refused to cave. In fact, toward the end of the first half, it was the African team that was pushing the buttons and making things click. They just edge Mexico in possession at 52% & in corners with 3 to 0. However, they also edge Mexico in Yellow Cards with 3. They better be careful in this second half if they want any chance at all. **UPDATE** and the match has ended with Angola keeping their World Cup hopes very much alive. A nil-nil draw still leaves Group D wide open. Late pressure by the Mexican national left the Angolans grasping and gasping, but they hung on and forced a vital point out of the match. Well done then to the African nation, Angola. Talk to you tomorrow. Until then, Wastrel On! (Listening to: The Knack & Megan Rochell & UB40 &Dance Hall Crashers & Paul van Dyk & Bing Crosby)

Ecuador on the March

The first game this morning is also the first wholly South American match of this tournament. Costa Rica, who must win, play Ecuador who already have a win having stunned Poland on the opening day of the competition. At the half, Ecuador has a 1-0 lead and look to advance to the second round in only their second world cup. If Ecuador go on to win the game, the Poland v Costa Rica game becomes nothing more than an International Friendly and an attempt to save face. Tenorio scored for Ecuador on the 8th minute (it seems that the first goal in so many of these games is either coming very early or very late, doesn't it?). They can sit back and defend heavily against a Costa Rican team who only managed 4 shots in their entire first game against Germany. I'll be back with more after the game. **UPDATED** Well, and that is that, Poland & Germany go through while Costa Rica & Poland go home. With 2 losses by the P & CR, there is just simply no mathematical possibility that they will advance out of this round. Ecuador, handed the Costa Ricans their collective arse on a platter. Tenorio scored early in the game as I mentioned earlier allowing them to walk into the locker rooms at the break as the leaders. This effectively sapped the Costa Rican morale which was destroyed as Delgado dropped one into the net on 54 minutes. From that point on it was simply damage control for the Costa Rican's and they did a poor job at that, allowing yet a third goal into the bag in the final spasms of the match. Ecuador go through with a 3-nil win. Still one more match for each of these teams in Group A, though. For Poland & Costa Rica as I mentioned, it's merely a consolation match to save face. For Ecuador & Germany, however, there is still a spot to play for. The winner of the this group will play the Runner-Up of Group B, while the Runner-Up will play the winner of Group B. Lots of drama still to come. We have England taking on the tenacious Trinidad & Tobago followed by the Swedes trying for some points against Paraguay. Stay tuned. **UPDATED** We've half an hour before the England game and the team news is starting to trickle in. Neville is definitely out with a calf-strain which allows the far better Carragher to get his foot on the pitch. Should have started this way in my opinion. Rooney has been declared match-fit, but will be starting on the bench. So, it's looking like we'll be playing Robinson, Carragher, Terry, Ferdinand, A. Cole, Beckham, Lampard, Gerrard, J. Cole, Owen & Crouch from the whistle. On the bench will sit Rooney, Campbell, James, Bridge, Hargreaves, Jenas, Carrick, Lennon, Downing, Carson, Walcott & Neville. On paper, it's a very solid team. Let's see what they can do on the pitch. More to come at the break. **UPDATED** We're only 6 minutes into the match and already England have taken three shots against T&T with two of those shots requiring Shaka Hislop's intervention. It looks like perhaps England have something to prove in this match, and perhaps they'll do just that...prove it. **UPDATED** The game is at the break and England have still not managed to score. The practically own the game and are ahead in most stats: Possession: 61% to 39% Shots: 13 to 4 on Target: 4 to 2 and T&T have acquired 3 yellow cards in the first half, so naturally they're going to emerge with a little more trepidation and less tenacity when the second half begins. However, all they have to do is keep the ball out of the net to wholly embarrass the mighty, mighty Sven and his ducklings. Who'd have imagined 135 minutes into the World Cup that England would not have scored one on their own? Certainly not I. **UPDATED** 72 minutes into the match and still the scoreline sits at a tepid 0-0. England have a little more hunger, now and have strung together some fine moves and stapled 4 shots onto the end of those moves; however, none of the efforts were even close to rattling the cage of T&T. They'll just have to do better than this. Owen & Carragher were replaced at 58 minutes by Rooney & Lennon respectively. Let's see if this cavalry shift does any good. **UPDATED** Well, scupper me and send me to bed with no beer. England have won the game. That useless ponce, Crouch, finally went and did something right and put the little round thing in the big bag behind the opponent's keeper. Imagine that. Peter Crouch, whom I've had little to no faith in has redeemed himself a little bit in my eyes by scoring the first goal for England with only 6 minutes left in the game. And leave it to Stevie to add a little bit of icing to the top of an already delicious treat. On the 91st minute, Crouch & Downing combine to get a cross over to Gerrard who pegs it squarely into the back of the net setting the England fan's beer-bellies all a wobble. T&T tried a quick scare tactic on England by putting one in the net behind Robinson, but alas, it was offside & shan't count. England is through to the second round, no other team in Group B can mathematically oust them from that accomplishment. Well done the three lions then, despite trying to self-destruct. Let's only hope that the next round proves England's prowess a little more, wot? **UPDATE** The final match of the day is underway in Berlin. Sweden take on Paraguay with both teams in hopes of finishing second in the group. Should this game end in a draw, then Sweden will have the onerous task of taking & defeating England in the last game of this round to advance. Both Mellberg & Ljungberg start in the Swedish eleven despite the rumours of locker room bustups happening after the last match. And that's all the pertinent news in the lead-up. We'll speak more at the break. **UPDATE** It's the break of a mediocre game. I suppose the only good thing here is that it rescues us from the tediousness of this match. Even the official was done with it when he called for the break directly on 45 minutes. "Go on, get to your dressing rooms and figure it out. You're boring everyone." seemed to be his sentiment. Paraguay enjoyed a very slim margin of possession at 51%, but Sweden had the greater number of shots, that is to say they had 7 to Paraguay's 6. One yellow card apeice and no red cards thus far. Sweden better pick up the pace in the second half if they don't want to be forced into a MUST win situation against England. Bah. Wastrel on. (Listening to: The Oyster Band & Sloan & R.E.M. & Danny Elfman & Cinder & The Living End)